It’s strange to think that in just a couple of months, students will be heading back to school—and for the first time, I will not be one of them!
Time is such a funny thing.
It’s like looking at a different person when I think back to the beginning of my time at UC Davis.
I remember being so scared of change and wanting to please everyone. I was not sure of my worth—and I was okay with not growing. I was too afraid to say what I really wanted, in case it didn’t work out. I was afraid to express my opinions if it could lead to confrontation with friends or family. I let other people tell me what to want or what I would be good at, instead of just asking myself these questions and believing my answers.
I don’t recognize that girl anymore, and I am so glad.
When I try to think of the moment when I morphed from that freshman year girl to the person I am now—it’s impossible to. Because growth does not happen overnight. It’s all the little moments, the struggles and the successes—that lead to it.
I know everyone likes feeling supported—but being feeling support and needing validation are two very different things.
One of the most damaging things can be worrying about what other people think.
Only you know what is truly best for you. And once I came to this realization, once I stopped caring so much about other people’s opinions or wishes for me and started doing things to make myself happy—applying for jobs I was interested in, taking classes I was excited about, speaking up for things I thought were important—I became more and more sure of myself.
I wasn’t pretending or being complaisant anymore. Rather than focusing on what other people wanted from me, I started asking myself what I wanted and could expect from myself.
I think it is safe to say my freshman year self would be very proud of the woman I have become.
Three years may not seem very long, but so much has happened in that time frame.
If you had told me just a year ago, everything that would happen and where I would be at right now, I wouldn’t know what to think.
This past year has been the best and happiest year of my life, and it only makes me more enthusiastic for the future.
I have no idea where I’ll be in a year from now, but I do know that the best is yet to come, and I’m so excited to chronicle these upcoming adventures!
Photos by Becky Gmahling